"If you want to paint me, then you'll have to take your armor off," the figure chided to me through the canvas. Once I heeded, she rewarded my vulnerability and bestowed a sense of grace.

Working on this painting was a practice in vulnerability. It's made me realize how essential vulnerability is to an artist or anyone looking to express themselves authentically. Without vulnerability, there is no feeling. Without feeling there is no art. Vulnerability is the catalyst in the alchemical, transformative process of making art. It is often seen as weakness. But it is in fact a superpower. Vulnerabilty requires more strength than being defensive.

I struggled the most during this painting when I was unwilling to be vulnerable and take off my armor. My defenses kept me struggling against my mistakes and limitations. Once I exposed myself and accepted them, they transformed.

I still struggle with perfectionism, imposter syndrome, and not being good enough. This painting challenged me to face these demons by giving me an ultimatum:

Option 1- Be vulnerable, risk screwing up, face criticism, and discover what you could do.

Option 2- Play it safe, take no risks, avoid criticism, stay in your comfort zone and learn nothing.

Thankfully, I chose the first option. Option 2 would have been too risky.

“Grace”

16x20 in | 41x51 cm

oil on linen board (unframed)

$800